"I, Andrew Lawson, am the Modern Day Saint of: Procrastination!
The fluid continuity of my technique is unparalleled. I embrace the universe with my brain in park and with the best of intentions to accomplish everything I want to do, sit back and do... Nothing! It is perfection in its simplicity.
The chores I am tasked with tend to sit for so long, they lose relevance
and importance until they become "Unchores". (Patent pending). Not to
say I am shiftless and sloth like. I go to work and shower, etcetera.
It's just that I subconsciously seem to pick specific tasks that just
simmer indefinitely. When I look within for reasons I find a myriad of
voices telling me to- relax and stop worrying about it. Couch up! one
says. Another confides in me- the XBOX is lonely, you never cuddle him
anymore. And so it goes. Resistance is futile. I am confident that even
though many others share this affliction, none have achieved the utmost level that I attain effortlessly each day."